On Track

Mothers and Sons, on the Same Track (Dominique Browning, NYTimes June 2011)

Last year I came across this article and it has resonated with me ever since.  You can read the full article here:

http://travel.nytimes.com/2011/06/05/travel/dominique-browning-on-a-train-trip-with-her-two-grown-sons.html?pagewanted=all

    Like the author, I also have two sons of similar age; my oldest also named Alex!  When I read this article I was envious of the time Ms. Browning had to spend time with her adult boys.  Wouldn't I love to do that, too.  Then, just  such a chance came my way when my husband and I were given an opportunity at Christmas to fly to Japan to be with our sons (and daughter).  It was one of our most memorable experiences--we felt like we had won the lottery.  In our case, a single train trip wasn't a particular focus;  our train and subway travel was predominantly a means to get somewhere else.  However, the sentiments shared with the newspaper article weren't lost on me.  I relished every minute we had to spend with "the kids."  
 
   Some of Ms. Browning's passages  nailed those sentiments perfectly:  "The entry into adult childhood, with its complex alchemy of separation and attachment, is as fraught a time as the baby end of childhood.  More so, for the parent, anyway.  When he is 5, a child has no choice to be with you.  When he is 25, he is with you only by choice.  As most of us don't want to lose touch with our kids just when they become truly interesting people, we have to figure out how to navigate that perilous, post-adolescent territory.    Do interesting things together.  Do anything together".  and, "they will never be 8 years old again.  Nor do you want them to be.  Not really.  Just a bit."   




Truly  my husband and I relish every chance  to spend time with the kids, as our children become more independent and distant (in both the literal and figurative sense) from their parents.  We do what it takes.  How about the time we drove up and back from Atlanta to Washington, D.C. over a weekend to watch one son play in a lacrosse game (not to mention the actual time we were able to spend with him totaled about an hour).  Now, our oldest son is engaged to be married in a few months, and we find ourselves planning most of his wedding.  (I'll save that for another blog).

 It makes me reflect on the end of Ms.  Browning's article:    "we left that train as a new and different family.  All of us were more grown up somehow in the blink of an eye.   Everything ends too fast.  Childhood is just the beginning."