Did We Sign a Parenting Contract?

Anyone reading this blog would think we are two moms who just can't get their acts together past the empty nest.  (We can't).  We are trying, though, seriously trying.  To be fair, we will admit the empty nest isn't all that bad, in some respects.  There is a certain element of liberation, of course!

My husband and I are discovering how nice it is to be able to travel on the weekends and return home Sunday evening whenever we want; no worries about getting kids off to school Monday morning.  (And what a treat to even have a weekend to ourselves--one not restricted by sports schedules, or an SAT Saturday, for example).  It's really pleasant not being a prisoner in your own house because you have to stay home at night because your kids have a social life and, as parents, you just have to be around.   And, it's decadently liberating (or extremely pathetic, whichever way you want to look at it) for my husband and me to come home from work and take our supper of leftovers (sometimes from different meals) in front of the TV... where we sit like blobs unwinding from the work day.  

In defense of that, this past summer we had over 90 days of over 90 degrees! 

That weather is enough to turn anyone into  a blob when just the commute home from work wipes you out.

Anyway, there is no mistaking the pang that accompanies the realization that life before the children started to fly the coop will NEVER be the same again.  But, that's OK... it's what's supposed to happen, right?  Parenting has been described as the one job that if you get it right and do it well, you will be out of a job in 18-22 years.  Intellectually, I believe parents realize and expect that.  Emotionally, (maybe especially for moms?) it's a lot more difficult to accept.  The whole role of parenting was to raise your children well:  to have good manners, be responsible, be thoughtful and kind, and simply become productive members of society.  But wait, how did I forget that along with all this comes the dissolution of our nuclear family.  Was that in the contract?  Did I not read the small print?

The Empty Nest Book by Karen Stabiner is a really heartfelt collection of essays.  And P.S. Pam/Susan:  We could have written all of them.