That Look in the Mirror

I loved this article in the Feb '12 issue of More magazine...
"How to Let Go of Wanting to Look Young" by Emily Listfield, who featured Vivian Diller, Phd., the author of  Face It: What Women Really Feel as Their Looks Change.   I'd like to think that I'm not vain, but I am only human.  
A few choice bits from the article include:   There's an uh-oh moment in every woman's life, whether at the first gray hair or the first fine line, when we realize that the first blush of youth is gone... 
*Why are the most confident women--even those who never cared much about their appearance--thrown when they start to see changes in their looks?  We have an attachment to the image we see in the mirror, and barring illness or major weight fluctuations, that image remains much the same in your twenties and thirties.
     
Who doesn't want to look in the mirror and see Snow White instead of being shocked when the Evil Queen stares back?   It would seem that I'm really hung up about aging.   I want to believe that I'm not.
I confess that my son's upcoming wedding and my not wanting to look old and frumpy has a lot to do with it!     That's why I liked this article;  reading it was like getting a gentle just-get-over-it slap in the face.  Youth.  No roads back.

More on the Mecca for Old People.....

To continue with a little more detail (referring to previous post about red underwear) about the town of Sugamo: one of the reasons Sugamo became such a mecca for the elderly is the Togenuki Jizo, best described here:  
...the Togenuki Jizo* or Koganji Temple is located along Sugamo main street.  This temple is very well known among locals and out-of-towners as a place that cures the ill.  Devotees gather here daily seeking freedom from their respective aches and pains and suffering; offering prayers to Enmei Ksitigarbha (Togenuki Jizo), who is believed to cure any illness.  Legend has it that a housemaid once swallowed a sewing needle and was cured by eating a paper with a picture of the Jizo on it, the needle atached itself to the paper and she was cured.  Hence visitors to the temple often say their prayers and eat the paper (which can be purchased for a small sum) in order to be cured.  A prominent feature at the temple, however, is the statue of the Arai Kannon (Goddess of Mercy).  It is believed that by bathing the statue and offering prayers, she too will cure aches and pains.    The temple comes to life in Sugamo during the Grand Festival of Togenuki Jizo held each year.

* Togenuki means "pick a thorn out"  "Jizo" in Sanskrit is Ksitigarbha, guardian of children.
Togenuki can also be a word for tweezers; some of the Sugamo shops had decorative tweezers for sale. 


 (http://travel.aol.com/travel-guide/asia/japan/tokyo/togenuki-jizo-koganji-temple-thingstodod

detail-666546/)      

 Just outside the temple is a statue of Kannon, Goddess of Mercy.  Custom has it that you pour water and wash her in the hopes she will bless your ailing body parts... that's a photo of me participating in the washing ritual,  I am paying
particular attention to her legs and feet....
we were exploring Tokyo walking miles and miles...and my body parts were feeling it!

The wooden box is for offerings, the bamboo dippers are for scooping the water, the plastic tray holds the washing cloths.  With a patron saint of pain relief in Sugamo's temple, it was only natural that Sugamo became a destination for the elderly.  Even the street curbs are lower than standard, to help prevent tripping.

Interestingly enough, in the book Shock of Gray (2010) author Ted C. Fishman mentions Sugamo.   A great place to visit if you want to be considered a youngster at age 60....



Shock of Gray--- and the real shock of looking in the mirror...happened to me in earnest about five years ago... 

The Year of the Dragon and Red Underpants

2012 is the new year of the dragon according to the Asian zoological calendar. The 12 animals that correspond to the horoscope calendar are the same in Chinese and Japanese culture.  Those born in the year of the dragon are said to be excitable and powerful...just a few of the many attributes, both positive and negative.  In Asian new year celebrations  the color red also figures as an auspicious color.

In the beginning of this new year of the dragon, a trip to Japan found me visiting the town of Sugamo, on the northern loop of the JR Yamanote line.  WWII history buffs will know Sugamo infamously as the town that housed the prison that housed war criminals: Prime Minister Tojo was incarcerated and hanged here in 1948.  Today, with past history behind it, what was once the prison grounds is now a skyscraper. 
Sugamon, the cute and friendly duck mascot of the town of Sugamo.
This is the Sugamo post office.


Today Sugamo is a destination for the geriatric set.   The Japanese call it the Harajuku for Grandmas....
(Harajuku being the mecca
for Japanese teenyboppers).

Here's a shop dedicated to geriatric health products, vitamins, etc.















Sugamo also is home of the aka pantsu, (literally red pants).   Shops filled with red underwear line the shopping district.  Red, being the auspicious color that it is, is deemed lucky.
One of the famous shops, Maruji sells everything related to undergarments and all in red.
         Victoria's Secret for Granny Panties?

How about these red hot sexy numbers...no thongs for the wrinkled set.

According to Maruji's English translation which explains the power of the red panty:
...below the belly button there is a point known as the Tan-Den.  Even a touch to here may makes your feel warm! (Dantian is the source of the life force Qi, a major concept in TaiChi)   It is hard to explain though, without Qi our lives can't go on!  It is hard for us, ordinary people to get "Tan Den" to be strong and also Qi.  But don't worry.  "Red Panty" does it!  All you have to do is put on it!  ...it is said that the red cloth can warm your body, and fill your energy in Oriental medicine.  Please choose brilliant red one and natural mateial one like silk or cotton.  Notice:  When sleeping, "Red Panty" may cause you excite and make you sleepless.  So put on ordinary color underwear when you sleep. 


Who couldn't use some luck, energy and excitement!?  With Valentine's Day around the corner, it's not difficult to find lots of  red (and underwear).  Upon my return from Sugamo I passed out a few lucky red fabric samples that the shopkeeper in Maruji happily gave me (she was thrilled that products from her store were going to America)  Just the other day one of my yoga/taichi classmates ecstatically shared with us that she had just bought herself some red underwear and the day she wore them she sold a million dollar house.   
Lucky Aka Pantsu!
  

Remembering Y2K

Does 12/31/1999 seem like a VERY long time ago? The panic over Y2K is funny now looking back. Would the banks shut down, would there be food to eat or water to drink, would business as we knew it grind to a halt? At work we had to write letters to our customers assuring them that their elevators would not fall out of the sky at the stroke of midnight.


It all seems so funny now. We laughed at the man of our household who bought extra canned goods during each grocery store trip and made sure we had cash on hand in case the bank machines would not work. We roared with giggles at a friend who had a room in her basement with everything from food to gas masks and blankets. The night of "the beginning of the end" was celebrated at a fun dinner with friends where we promptly forgot all of our worries and as we headed to bed not one thing seemed to have gone wrong.

A wonderful lesson in how preparation is everything but worry is useless. As the saying goes, may your troubles always be smaller than your imagination!

Deck the Cars...

                                 
When did we become a nation that puts their cars in costumes?
Seriously.  The other day at the grocery store I found myself parked next to three mini vans with antlers on their doors and red pompoms attached to the front grilles.   Car costumes? What is it that compels people to decorate their cars like reindeer?  How goofy is that.  At the risk of soundling like a Scrooge--no bah humbug intended--don't get me wrong:  I LOVE Christmas.    It's so common now to see cars adorned with wreaths on the front grille, which I actually think looks especially nice on luxury cars...like a shiny black Mercedes, or a ruggedly handsome Land Rover.  (Or maybe it's possible I've just seen too many commercials for a red-ribboned Lexus).  The other night I saw an FJ Cruiser with twinkly colored Christmas lights entwined around the roof rack.  Then there was the Jeep Cherokee decked out with candy canes protruding on all doors and large holiday decals plastered all over the body.  (Do they know what that does to the paint finish?)
      I can't help but wonder what we Americans look like from afar...ever fun-loving..but decorating our vehicles like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
     What does this say about our love affair with the automobile...or is it more about how much time we spend in our cars?  We Americans love to advertise ourselves:  window decals with stick figures indicating the family members, right down to the pets.   I have even seen someone's loved one's life/death dates commemorated on the rear windshield like a tombstone.  Now that's a little too weird for me.

                                           
And then there's the preppy monogram...then again maybe that's just a southern trend.  Nothing like telling strangers that a cute and sassy sorority sista may be the driver of that car...

     Yesterday I saw a new one:  Christmas tree "antlers" attached to the doors and a star attached to the front grille.  Are you kidding me?
                                    
  Ho Ho Ho  Merry Christmas American Automobile!

Rest and Be Thankful

One of my favorite phrases, this is taken from a rest stop in scenic western Scotland.  It's inscribed on a stone in Argyll Forest Park on the highest point (803 ft. above sea level, the monument commemorates the completion of the road, which was constructed by soldiers in 1750..check it out at visitScotland.com).    It marked a place where travellers could stop, rest, and be thankful that they had reached the pinnacle of the steep climb.  Could be a metaphor for parenting, or life in general.
    I thought this would be a perfect title for a Thanksgiving-themed post...  Thanksgiving 2011 has already come and gone and now here we are in the midst of the countdown to Christmas.  Rest and be thankful. Equally appropriate as we fly through December.
    I originally had the idea of posting something for which I'm thankful...everyday in the month of November. That did not happen...but counting one's blessings, or thanksgiving the verb has no expiration date.  These posts of gratitudes of mine are entirely random and in no particular order.  I've decided to use some book marks (pun intended) for a little visual variety.

Friendship.     My friends are so precious to me.  Friendships are truly 

a blessing and I cherish all of mine: long, short, casual, deep.  

Years ago I discovered my blogging partner Susan had also read 

Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight (a rather obscure book with a weird title) 

and liked it...  well that was a no kidding moment...I knew then we were bonded.  

Later when we read Cutting for Stone we continued to realize just how many 

P.S. Pam/Susan/Marion/Shiva parallel experiences we share.

And most of those moments are just ordinary ones.

Always thinking alike.

* * * * * * * * *

One of my longest-enduring friendships is with another Susan, from Scotland.  

We have been friends across the pond, and now in the U.S., for over 42 years...  

It was she who first introduced me to the Rest and Be Thankful in Scotland,

 and that was some 25 years ago.

* * * * * * * * * 

I'm thankful for my good health, despite watching my body age, 

or become "less young."  Of course all without my permission. 

Still Alice is a sobering novel of Alzheimers too soon in life.  

That makes me fearful.  I'm still myself, as far as I know. 

And that makes me grateful.

 

Aging gracefully or becoming less young.

At least I'd like to think that I am accepting this with grace.

Water for Elephants makes me reflect on old age in 

general, (even though that was a sub-theme in the novel) 

...and living, I hope, a very long and healthy life.   

I'm thankful for the hope that this will be true. 

Cocktail Hour Under the Tree of Forgetfulness---

the sequal to Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight.  

The title makes me think of life in menopause.  I once read a description 

of this stage of life (the empty nest), as the cocktail hour.  

Sitting under a tree of forgetfulness brings me right back to Still Alice.  

It's awful to walk into a room, stand there and realize you  forgot what you 

went in there for in the first place...not to mention the words that you 

sometimes struggle in vain to let come into your head...grasping desperately 

for the word, or name,  even when you can see the face in your mind.

* * * * * ** * * 

That being said about aging,    

I'm grateful for a happy, perfectly normal (I believe it was!) childhood.   

The Glass Castle and A Piece of Cake.  You gotta read those books

 to fully appreciate what was a satisfying, uneventful childhood.  

I'm so grateful for parents who loved me and were sensible in how they 

raised me and my brothers. They made me feel safe, and taught me

what it means to be well grounded. Which also makes me thankful for

all the people and elements that make up my family.

* * * * * * * * * 

Survival ...and all the thankfulness and deposits in the gratitude bank 

that go hand-in-hand when people survive anything.

I'm very thankful for surviving my children's high school years 

without any arrests, DUIs, jail, bail or teenage pregnancies.  Best quote from 

Jodi Picoult in My Sister's Keeper:  "parenting is really just a matter of tracking, 

or hoping your kids do not get so far ahead you can no longer see their next moves."  

I know there were fake trails I tracked.  My kids could throw off a scent good as any. 

(it's a given your children can fool you anytime, all the time.)  I'm counting my blessings 

I survived those years!

  After  reading these books I'm thankful my mother survived the war, 

or I wouldn't be here.  Not to mention it makes me appreciate and indebted 

to all veterans who gave so much.  "All gave some and some gave all."

I am also so thankful that my brother-in-law survived a nasty and 

dangerous fall off a ladder...on Thanksgiving day, no less.  

This could be an active on-going post, for sure....

   
  

Gratefulness

My favorite Thanksgiving saying is "Never let what you do not have or should not have or cannot have ever lessen your thanksfulness for all that you do have."

Thanksgiving is such a marvellous time for reviewing the past year and thinking of the many blessings we all have received. At our house (or alternate location as we had this year in Arizona) we always go around the table to say what things we appreciate most. My list was long this year including better business, our daughter's on-time college graduation, the many times we were able to be together this year despite the long distances, health, a full belly and a warm bed, fun trips, the support of friends when I needed it most, etc. I ended with the statement "I am most thankful that I survived this year." It was a grand one and a harrowing one all at the same time.

Isn't that true of much of life? Dickens said "It was the best of times. It was the worst of times." You have to take the sour with the sweet and perhaps the trick to both happiness and gratefulness is learning to balance the extremes and to appreciate when you are on the mountaintop of even the simplest things. We so often miss the whole journey by wishing bad times away, focusing on the destination instead. Such joy can be found in the everyday if we just stop to look and listen.

My hope for the time I have before the next Thanksgiving is that I remember to be grateful every day not just one day in November. I want to remember each day that life is full of adjustments and changes and sorrows but also full of joy and love and hope.