Being busy and having our hands full...

....it's all relative!  I was waiting in the doctor's office to get a flu shot when a woman came in with a stroller the size of a Smart Car (I am absolutely not kidding).  She had a tiny baby strapped to the front of her body and in the front of the stroller was a young tyke who looked like a young 18 months old (turns out I was right on the money).  The OTHER teeny baby was in the stroller rumble seat.   A toddler and twins! Whew!  I was exhausted just looking at her.  This scene definitely turned heads.  All the women in the waiting room   perked up and we all  smiled, oohed and aahed and offered help.  The mother-with-her-hands-full then proceeded to mention that she had two other kids: an 11-year old and a six- year old.  Whew baby!  You could almost hear the collective thoughts going through our heads..."boy I'm glad that's not me"...  While I was waiting I had been thinking how busy I was going to be and could they hurry up and call my name so I could get on with my day....
This definitely made me pause and reflect (pleasantly) to when I was once a young mom with a five-year old, a two-and-a-half-year old little rough and tumbler and a three-month old baby.  I thought I had it hard then maneuvering out in public a double stroller as long as the Queen Mary.  Busy!  I didn't field phone calls and deal with customers, but was definitely busy keeping everyone content, fed and safe...  It was a happy-kind of busy!

Coming Full Circle in Love

     Despite a childhood full of pets - everything from dogs, cats, ducks and rabbits, along with a pair of turtles I "boiled" to death by mistake while trying to clean them - I have always been known as the person who did not want a dog!  Not ever.  But throw in a couple of children who made a strong case for having one and a sudden moment of weakness in October 2001 and there I was writing a check to the Atlanta Humane Society for $82 and the honor of taking home a cute black one year old dog!  Bailey got her name before we even got home probably because my daughter was so shocked that Mom said yes that she wanted to claim her before I changed my mind.  I noted on the drive home that "This dog will probably be living at our house after the children leave home."  Famous last words...

     In the ensuing 11 years, Bailey became a full fledged member of the family.  She is the sweetest dog - never barked at anyone, did whatever you told her and added joy to our everyday life - if you can discount all the times she chewed through the fence, chewed the outside of the house trying to get in, ate some Christmas gifts under the tree or jumped THROUGH the screened porch screen to get inside during a storm.  Thunder and fireworks were not her thing!  In the beginning it was so bad that we hired a dog psychologist to work with her!  Did not help a bit.

     Despite her idiosyncrasies, our children loved her beyond words.  Their delight made all the other things worth it.  Seeing her in the basement playroom with her nose on the steps, watching her go wild with excitement when they came home from college, seeing her joy when someone got the leash that meant walk time, just always having her greet you when you came home was worth alot more than the $82.  Of course the bill did not include the thousands we later spent to repair a broken pelvis from a run in with a car, thousands more for surgery in 2010 to save her life when she had a tumor, several bouts of vestibular disease and a few awful bites from a copperhead in our yard!

     For the past few months Bailey has struggled with a rear leg that just did not want to work.  No more walks around the block; it was hard to even get up.  But two weeks ago suddenly neither rear leg would work.  The heartbreak of it all.  So we are at the crossroads of being good pet lovers and owners and need to make the decision to let her go.  The "children" who are no longer children are heartbroken, my husband who works from home and spends time with her as his office mate is already lonely and I, who have always seen Bailey as my last link to the time of having children at home can  hardly bear to think of it.  But we owe her one last thing - to make the end as easy as possible.  As my daughter said, "We cannot keep her alive just because WE are too sad to let her go." There was a great beginning and now the end is almost here.  Wish us luck...

Empty Nest Redux

     Is there anything more stressful than teaching a 15 year old how to drive, waiting on SAT scores, looking for college acceptances and kissing the kids goodbye on the steps of their freshman dorm?  Not for me.  But somehow as you look back you realize that we all made it through and in a blink everyone is on to their "adult" lives.

     Apparently the next step in the epilogue of the parenting manual is how to enjoy your children as the adults they now are.  New realities include traveling long distances to see them in their own environments, counting the days until they come home, watching with joy as they obtain jobs or relationships that make them happy, listening more than instructing and worrying from afar when things do not go smoothly while knowing you no longer really have the "power" to fix things for them. That part of your job is done.

     The journey continues in a different manner but what a journey it continues to be!  Just as early childhood brings first lost teeth, the beginning of school, learning to ride a bike, going off to summer camp, the twenties bring their own sweet joys.  This summer we have been on the weddign circuit watching young couples take that next step in their lives (including PS Pam's son) and what fun it has been!  A good reminder that while things we love and enjoy pass, many other wondrous times await us if we open our hearts and minds to them.  When you have loved being a Mom and having children in your home, it is often hard to push on to the next stage.  But like a toddler screaming as you pull them away from Toys 'R Us, if you just relax, it all works out.

   A wise Dad I know recently told me - "When your kids are in their twenties it is no longer your role to say nay.  You must with enthusiasm say Yay about everything while letting them know you are always their umbrella if they need one."

As they say about Life...it goes on.